I Will Wait For You
by Athena
Summary: Luc muses about death, True Runes, and what keeps him from acting while watching Sarah sleep.


Just some monologue practice, since I rarely do write them. From Luc's POV, approximately three years after Suikoden II. Spoilers for Suikoden III, I suppose.  
Started: April 23, 2004 (1:25 P.M.)  
Finished: April 23, 2004 (5:03 P.M.)

* * *

**"I Will Wait For You"**

You sleep now, unaware and completely at ease.

Only three years ago, you were a prisoner in a world of crystal and marble; a specimen for Harmonians to prod and study in their relentless quest to harness the entire world's knowledge. Your life was one of confusion and misery -- without parents, without friends, and always locked away when _they_ couldn't find a use for you. I have no regrets in taking you out of the Crystal Palace. Having been in there for similar reasons, I found myself unable to simply _leave_ you there.

I've made a promise to myself that I'll never leave you behind.

You're so small… I can still remember the first time I took your hand into mine, when I told you to trust me. Maybe it's my cynical side speaking, but I didn't really expect you to me at smile and reach out for me. You reached for my right hand and held on tightly -- as if clutching at a lifeline.

Before you, no one's ever relied on me so heavily.

I sit beside you now, wondering why you bonded to me so readily. Was it because I was the first to offer you an escape? Was it because your curiosity took hold and made you reach out to me? Or was it something much greater, like Destiny?

I have to frown at such a thought. I look to my right hand and clench into it a fist.

Destiny. Destiny tells me that the world will end, and that all is bound to fall into ruin. That is what the True Wind has shown me, and I cannot deny the images of world destruction that it has shown me. I know that I will someday have to act upon what my True Rune has shown me, but I don't want to think too deeply about it now.

That's why I'm here again, at your bedside.

Lady Leknaat says that you are incredibly powerful, and that is undoubtedly why the Harmonians took such interest in you. I'm glad that she was understanding when I brought you back to the tower with me; she commented that it was a very compassionate thing for me to do, and that she was proud of me. It may not seem like a lot, but she has never been one to make compliments of that sort. Lady Leknaat has always kept her thoughts to herself, and so such comments tend to stay with me.

You turn slightly, as if realizing my thoughts have strayed from you. How selfish you are in slumber, Sarah.

You are, without a doubt, the light of my life. It may sound silly and trite, like something one of those strange narcissists from Toran would say, but it's true. Your scampering around the tower is refreshing, and you keep me on my toes when you run off to look at something new. Of course, I don't blame you for your curiosity; I was a lot like you when I first came to the island, although I quickly grew … somber with Leknaat as my only company. When your only company is a blind seer who has been an adult for several centuries, you tend to distance yourself and think a lot more.

Being isolated makes me think too much. When I'm with you, I don't have to worry so much about the fate of the world and everything. I just have to worry about making sure you don't get hurt, and if you eat properly, and if you're happy…

However, there's going to be a day when those worries will disappear, and you'll be able to take care of yourself. You'll be full-grown and able to make decisions for yourself, and I'll be left to deal with the stresses of my "life" alone.

I think that's when I'll deal with my demons. Once you're full-grown and able to live away from my wing. Once you're able to leave and find a place for yourself away from me, Lady Leknaat, and this little haven, I'll make plans for stopping Destiny. I'll leave the tower and seek out a way to keep the world from ending so that people fated to die before they can truly live don't have to. I'll go to whatever extreme is necessary to keep the world from meeting such an ending, even if I have to kill.

Having to take care of you, Sarah, has bolstered feelings that I've thought about throughout the two wars I've taken part in. Camaraderie, worry, love … I may not be human in every sense of the word, but I know such good things exist in the living and they don't deserve to be destroyed simply because these damned True Runes have such control over everything.

I caress your hair and stand up, reaching into my pocket to pull out my gloves. I gaze for a moment at the True Rune on my right hand, then watch it disappear underneath the soft leather. Dusting off my clothes, I turn and stride to exit the room.

I'm going to destroy one of those True Runes and rid myself of this unnatural existence, as well as break the bindings that Destiny has made. But only once I no longer have you under my wing. Only once you are able to live away from the tower and decide what you will do for yourself. In essence, raising you is all that I have in this "life."

I turn back once more to gaze sadly at you in bed, unable to smile as I stand by the door. You're all that stands between me and pursuing some chaotic, and undoubtedly deadly, ambitions.

I will wait for you to grow up before I kill myself.

* * *

That's my first time seriously handling Luc in any way other than a passing glance. Sarah's at least gotten some "screen time" in one of my other fics, but I don't write Luc for some reason… Hmm. He's difficult for me to get in the head of. 


End file.
